set in motion
by dannymahealani
Summary: i - i don't know, albus. i don't know what this is. / albus&scorpius, questioning.


**disclaimer**: i do not own harry potter.  
**notes**: i have never written this pairing or slash in general actually, so be kind? i don't actually know what this is, but i needed to write _something_. the absence of capital letters is a stylistic choice and i am sorry if you dislike it, but please realize there is little to no chance that i will change that.  
**warnings**: bullying because of sexual orientation and the 'f' word that is meant as an insult towards the lgbtq group of people (once). _please know that i do not encourage this things whatsoever._

* * *

**set in motion**  
albus&scorpius

/

"don't you - "

"no, al. i don't."

/

(_he doesn't mean it._)

/

he didn't want for it to become a relationship that actually _meant _something. all it was _meant_ to be was an experiment, to get the curiosity of trying something like this out of his head because it was all he was thinking about for _months_.

but scorpius doesn't do well when he cares about things; all the things he cares about sooner or later turn to ash, and he was just waiting for the fire to start.

/

they are just a bunch of fleeting memories of hands roaming around body parts that should _not_ be touched like that by the other person but oh, it feels so good and how can scorpius say no to those green eyes? how can he say no when every inch of his body says yes?

(_he can't, that's how.)_

/

he has absolutely no idea what albus' original plan when they started this - this _thing_ that certainly couldn't be healthy.

but he was never brave enough to ask.

/

"scorpius - " albus is trying to catch up with him while he is still walking fast, still trying to avoid him. he cannot look at any of the weasley-potter kids since it happened - but the hand on his shoulder interrupts his thoughts. "we need to talk, scorp."

he freezes, because all he can think about is the _touch_ - the touch of his fingertips on his shoulder blade and the unexplained electricity that runs through every piece of his body.

"i can't, al - "

"no, _now, _scorpius," albus says as scorpius turns around. "look, we need to talk about what happened - "

but scorpius will not stop looking for a way out, because that is just what he does. "i can't, albus, if i'm late one more time for charms - "

"_screw charms_, scorpius!" albus screams, and some of the students around them do in fact turn to look at them. scorpius cannot but help be aware of his environment, of what danger might be hidden in it and while he tries to urge albus to be quiet, all it does is make him angrier. "what is _this_, malfoy? are we just going to be fucking and then leaving each other, pretending that it never happened?_ because i can't handle that _and i need to know now."

there is a little voice in the back of his head that is telling him, _now, scorpius, now_, but all he says is, "i - i don't know, albus. i don't know what this is."

/

(_he swears he's telling the truth_.)

/

the fact of the matter is that scorpius loves having albus around and albus loves having scorpius around but scorpius is just a little too -

/

"look, al - al, i - i - "

he's pacing in his empty dorm room, praying to the god he doesn't believe in that none of his roommates walk in as he tries to figure out what to say to albus severus potter, tries to articulate exactly what it is that is happening inside his head.

/

scorpius manages to pull albus out of the crowd after one of the charms lessons and into a broom closet. he knows that albus must be smirking right now because they have only been in here for two seconds but already albus is tugging at his shirt and scorpius is complying, any thought of ever cutting this _thing_ off gone from his mind.

/

albus doesn't like to think about how scorpius ignores him outside of their hook ups or how his brother james still thinks he's straight or how _everyone _thinks he's straight.

what he does think is that things need to change.

/

scorpius gets note of albus coming out through his roommate leonard nott, who comes into their dorm saying, "can you believe it? albus severus potter, a fucking _faggot._ what kind of messed up world are we living in?"

scorpius tries not to cringe.

/

things are hell for albus after he comes out but he does not regret it, not at all. his family is still with him and there is suddenly a lot less unwanted attention from girls, which he can't complain about, but there is also a lot more unwanted attention from just about everyone else.

the teachers try to protect him but he can't decide if it's because he's the son of the boy who lived or they actually care.

/

scorpius sees the pressure and the insults and the harassment that albus gets and it both makes him want to come out and stay even more hidden than he already is.

(_he convinces himself that he doesn't need to make a choice._)

/

(_but he knows, in the back of his mind that he tries to ignore, that he does_.)

/

when leonard nott finds out that scorpius had sex with albus the first thing he does is beat him up.

scorpius isn't asked about why he has a black eye the next day, but truth be told he wasn't expecting to be.

(_scorpius never knows how leonard found out, but if he was being honest the biggest surprise was the fact that he didn't tell everyone.)_

/

albus catches up to him that day, though, despite them not talking (or fucking) for weeks. they are alone in the hallway, and albus' voice echoes when he says:

"scorpius."

he freezes, just like last time. but this time, he runs and turns into albus' shoulder, crying more than he would ever like to admit to and never wanting to let go.

/

he doesn't come out immediately after that. he waits, actually, for the second to last week of school, simply so that he doesn't have to endure it as long as albus had to, who completely understands.

leonard nott beats him up again, spewing swear words at scorpius like he's the devil.

/

he goes to class the next day limping, but when albus asks him what happened, he doesn't give any details.

/

the next day, he sees nott being taking away by the headmaster between third and fourth period. by nightfall, rumor has it that nott had been suspended from hogwarts until the next year because of harassing other students.

he knows that somehow albus must have connected the dots, but he's not exactly complaining.

/

when they get off the train at the platform, they get off holding hands.

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